With love in the air, many are dreaming a little more about their loved ones this Valentine’s season. Meanwhile, ever in love with the dance floor, we took the opportunity to speak with a few dance partners who are also coupled up in real life. What are the ins and outs of dancing with your romantic partner? Read on to find out more.
Don & Clarabelle are no strangers to many in the Singaporean DanceSport scene. What began as a partnership on the dance floor in August 2019 blossomed into a deeper personal connection after a period of slightly more than two years. Despite the setback of COVID-19, this couple has worked tirelessly to rise through the ranks, recently clinching the Champion trophy at SODC’s SBDTA 4-Dance Closed, among others.
Joining them in contributing to the perspectives of this article is a newly minted couple, Moses & Kellis. Although they have both been dancing for a number of years individually, their partnership is a recent union. You can catch them several weeknights at TDA studio, practising hard for their upcoming competitive debut in March.
Unlike Don & Clarabelle, Moses & Kellis were already dating one another for close to a year, before mutually grabbing the opportunity to become dance partners. Through speaking with both of these lovely couples, I learnt that whether you start as dance partners or romantic partners at first, there is much that you can learn from sharing both your heart and your dance floor with the person you love.
Would you say that being partners in real life has helped you become better dance partners too? If yes, how so?
This elicited a resounding yes from both couples. Having a solid foundation of trust and comfort in your personal relationship makes it much easier to understand each other as dancing partners, Moses & Kellis point out. Communication tends to flow well, and often times, they “just get each other”.
Don & Clarabelle echo this sentiment in a pragmatic way - being together often helps partners to better understand each other’s goals and objectives when it comes to dance. With a substantial portion of their lives overlapping, dancers who are seeing each other stand a better chance at accommodating each other’s busy schedules too.
If you often travel to compete overseas, it can also be helpful that you are with your own boyfriend or girlfriend, since it eliminates a third party whose expectations might need to be managed (as can be the case for dancers whose real life partners do not accompany them to international competitions).
How has dancing together helped you grow closer to each other in your own relationship?
The perspectives shared in response to this question fell primarily into three themes - teamwork, vulnerability, and drive.
A valuable skill that is learnt when dancing with a partner is conflict resolution. Over time, such problem solving can happen more quickly between couples. This is done, as Don & Belle put it, “by understanding that we are both heading towards a common goal, be it in life or in dance”. Moses and Kellis chimed in as well, that dance presents a unique avenue for such teamwork, where “we rely on each other in a way that’s different from anything else.”
Vulnerability can be a challenging space to navigate, but it is something you will likely have to confront if you’re dancing with your real life partner. It can be a very emotional experience, filled with the joy of sharing the highs, as well as the quiet resilience of accepting, forgiving and moving through the lows - together either way. If you have a supportive relationship with each other off the dance floor, chances are that such rapport will come in handy on the dance floor, too.
Dance reveals a lot about a person, both to themselves and to others. Dancing with your loved one therefore allows partners to learn more about each other, revealing not just their strengths , but also their areas for improvement, in equal measure. Having a medium to figure these things out, and working together to improve, helps in “making you a better person, and a better partner, both in and out of dance”, according to Moses and Kellis.
What do you think is the biggest myth about dancing together with your real life partner?
In their own words, both couples shed light on the same common misconception:
“That dancing together is effortless, as there are already romantic feelings involved. But in reality, when romantic feelings are involved, little disagreements in dance can lead to even greater conflicts. Finding a balance is not as easy as it seems.” - Don & Clarabelle
“One big myth is that dancing with your partner always means smooth, romantic moments. In reality, there can be frustration, miscommunication, or even arguments. It's not all glamorous, but it's part of the process and what matters is we both are in this together.” - Moses & Kellis
Moses & Kellis, what advice would you give to a new couple who are considering dancing with each other?
“Always be patient with one another and communicate openly. Instead of finding faults, work through challenges together and, most importantly, have fun and remember that you’re in this together.”
Don & Clarabelle, what advice would you guys give to dance partners who are considering to couple up in real life?
“Be active in listening to the other party. Figure out a way to forgive and forget quickly. Never bear a grudge against each other. What happens in the dance studio, stays in the dance studio."
Indeed, those are good pieces of advice! Keep them in mind, if there is a special someone on the dance floor that you have an eye on (or a significant other that you’d like to explore dance with). If you’re already dancing with your real life partner, let us know your experiences too!
To Don, Clarabelle, Moses and Kellis, I extend both my gratitude for their candid responses to all my questions, as well as the best Valentine’s Day wishes! 💕
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